Goodbye Family of 3... Hello Family of 4

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

In the last few weeks I've really been thinking about how our lives are going to change when we become a family of 4. For the past 2 years it's been Mummy, Daddy and Isla. I'm not going to pretend it's not tough when you're new parents and the early years are not all plain sailing, but we've nurtured this gorgeous girl and now approaching her 2nd birthday she is really blossoming into this wonderful, enchanting being. I look at her and feel enormous love for her and see her changing and growing, talking and learning and most of the time so happy. I watch her with wonderment as she says new words and makes up little games with her teddies (I'm not going to pretend that there aren't other times where I want to tear my hair out though, when she's running around naked ignoring me when it's bath time!).

I'm slightly anxious about her reaction to having a new baby in the house, she will have a little brother and I'm feeling this mixture of emotions that I didn't think I'd feel. I'm so excited about our family growing and having a new family member but I'm also slightly apprehensive as to how Isla is going to feel. I'm sure most mums feel like this in the run up to having another baby. I'm feeling a lot of guilt about how our time will have to be divided and that she won't be the centre of attention anymore. I know however that it can be great to have a sibling, and it will help with teaching the valuable lessons in life like sharing and being kind and gentle. She will be a big sister and I'm sure she will be great at it - eventually.

We've tried to prepare her for the baby and there's no getting away from the sight of my bump - and she's been told there is a baby in there, but I think she's definitely slightly too young to grasp the reality, and so it will hit when he arrives. We've bought her a present from the baby and we know that we need to tread carefully and give her lots of attention in the early days and make sure other people also don't make her feel pushed out. We're doing all the right things but it's still hard and until Baby Boy arrives I think I will continue to be anxious and lavish loads of love and attention on her in a bid to ease my conscience.

All that said, I'm really looking forward to the new adventure of having a boy in the house and in the way that Isla is definitely Daddy's girl, I will hopefully acquire a Mummy's boy.....

How have you found it when you're eldest is joined by a new sibling? I'd love to have your comments - be they positive or negative experiences!


  1. I felt exactly the same before Jenson was born. I worried how Burton would react and I felt so much guilt about how he might feel pushed out. However, this is normal as other mums have said they felt the same. I also didn't think Burton knew what a baby actually was being so young.
    However, he has been fine. I think the first couple of days he was a little shell shocked but soon he was kissing and prodding him! He still gets loads of attention from all of us and I think he really loves his little brother even if he is a bit too over zealous with him!
    It will be fine but it is hard work with two!! Good luck xx

  1. thanks Jenny! Appreciate those words! Shell shocked is probably the right description I reckon! I'm sure I'll weather the storm!

  1. KatieB said...:

    It is tough with two but doubly rewarding, they all adjust....eventually!! Lil man was 14 months when lil miss was born, thankfully he was so young it didn't take long for him to forget there was a time she wasn't here. They're thick as thieves now and gang up against me but it's so lovely to watch them playing together, chatting together and looking out for each other, makes your heart melt even more than ever before! Good luck hun, I'm sure it'll all be fine xx

  1. RebeccaMM said...:

    I'm also feeling just like you. My little girl will turn two next Tuesday and I have been nothing but besotted with her ever since I knew I was pregnant!! We're having another little girl due 6th August and I'm feeling really apprehensive about how Freya will feel. Also, she is a real mummies girl (which I love) and I selfishly don't want her to turn her attention to someone else if she feels pushed out by the baby. My biggest worry at the moment is when I go into hospital to have the baby. I've never spent a night away from her and she isnt great with other people looking after her. I dont want her to feel that Ive abandoned her and left her as she won't understand why mummy isnt there :-(

  1. loveinthenest said...:

    My little man has just turned 18 months and his baby sister arrived in the family when he was 13.5 months. Honestly, the first 24hrs were a bit sad. He came in to visit her (and me!)in hospital and was happy enough, a few hours later we all went home together and he looked a bit put out that mummy was busy with this new little person. The next morning I was in bed with my tiny girl and my hubby bought the little man in to see us. He looked at me and smiled then looked at his sister and a confused look crossed his face. He laid down next to us and looked up at the ceiling in deep thought, I imagined him wondering what was going on and why she was still in his house and it made me so sad, I couldn't help but have a few tears. Later that day he started showing an interest in her and from then on their relationship has blossomed. He cuddles and kisses her, passes toys to her, strokes her head when she is crying, claps when she sits unaided, rolls over or takes away the toy he is playing with. Now I can't help but have a few happy tears when I see how much they love each other :) Its a beautiful thing. xxx

  1. I felt exactly like you, but all was fine. Z never bothered when S arrived and both of them have been fine with baby H as well. I think they love having each other around. Kids seem to just take things in their stride! xx

  1. I have to say I tried not to think about it before the new baby was born!! But actually it couldn't be nicer - there's 21 months between my two boys and they idolise each other. Alex was too young to really remember what life was like without a baby and just accepted the new reality very quickly. We had a couple of restless nights with him early on but nothing more really. We were really careful, like you said, not to let him feel pushed out, and always asked if he wanted to help with nappy changing etc so as he would feel as involved as possible with the new baby, and there were a couple of occasions when both were crying when I was on my own and I had to leave the baby for a few minutes and give the older one a cuddle first, but generally he's been amazing. He seems to understand Ethan as well as I do telling me when he's hungry, tired or needs a dummy! And he loves to make him laugh. Ethan for his part adores his brother and tries to copy everything he does and when he can't just watches him and smiles. Ethans first smile was at Alex, and alexs first "I love you" was to Ethan. All very cute. So don't worry at all. You'll be amazing! And so long as they both feel loved (which they will) they'll both be happy too.

  1. loving all your comments - they are so encouraging!!! has given me a boost!

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