Thursday, 9 June 2011

Mind Your Own Business!

I started maternity leave this week and I'm wondering if I've become slightly sensitive to other people's comments, pointed questions and observations about how I do things with my daughter purely because I've shed the skin of being a 9 - 5 worker and walked back into the world of being a stay at home mum? Maybe I didn't have time to listen to things that people have to say, or I had bigger things to worry about than whether I was doing what everyone else does.

What am I referring to?

It seems that now my daughter is approaching 2 years she 'should' be potty training, or even totally dry by now! This is news to me, my feeling has always been that she will show me when she feels ready for it and in the meantime I will do things to gently prompt her in that direction. We've had a basic potty in our bathroom since she was 18 months, she knows it's purpose, quite often sits on it, asks for tissue and mimics wiping herself, but it is very much a piece of role play at the moment. I feel like this is good enough and I don't want to push her but when someone mentions it in such a way that you feel like you've failed at something it can get you down.

This isn't the only thing. Isla also uses a dummy, some days quite heavily. It isn't my favourite thing of hers and I admit to feeling fed up on occasion about her having it, but when I rationalise things, she will give it up eventually and in the mean time it would be nice if again people didn't make it their business to help her rid herself of it, because as far as I'm concerned they're only raising her own awareness of it and making her more stubborn about not taking it out. Also referring to it as 'dirty dummy' etc. It's not dirty, and neither is she. It's a habit and for some of the people who say these things, they actually smoke! A habit that is definitely damaging and definitely dirty (I don't hate smokers though - please don't make something of this comment)!

I don't mean to go on, but this is my outlet for letting off steam and for a whole evening this week I felt thoroughly miserable thinking that I wasn't doing things right. Perhaps I'm being over sensitive? I'm in the last 3 weeks of pregnancy and tiredness could be distorting how I see things, but one thing I do know is that Isla is a very happy little girl (as pointed out by my best friend) and surely that is all that matters and from the many responses to my moaning on twitter, it's fair to say that there aren't many 10 year olds that walk around with dummies in their mouths, wearing nappies (thanks Northern Mum!).


  1. Our little one is 3 now, we didn't really start potty training until she decided she was ready, around 2.5 years. Even now she still wears a bedtime nappy. I wouldn't rush it, like Northern Mummy says, it's highly unlikely she'll still be wearing nappies and a dummy in her teens. :-)

    (Oh, and yes, you probably are a bit more sensitive at the moment because you're pregnant if my wife at 30 weeks is anything to go by...!)

  2. i will definitely admit to being slightly sensitive - OH would agree! ;-)

  3. She's not even 2 and you're getting Potty Training comments?!? Tell them to bugger off, or even better if they want to train her tell them they can do it.

    As for the dummy, well I hated the things before I had the Boy but now I am very much of the parenting school of "whatever works" - when you are ready to get rid of it then thats the right time, it might be a fight and at 37 weeks pregnant thats something you don't need.

    I hate people with their uninvited useless opinions!! In your condition you could tell them to bugger off and blame it on the hormones. :)

    And breathe...

  4. Love your response. You're right, there really is too much going on with a new baby about to arrive that we don't need to add to our stress thinking about potty training and dummies. Funny thing was that the OH took Isla to nursery this morning and he came home with the details of the new room she will be going up to in September and on the daily schedule is 'potty training', so I know that it's going to begun then anyway and I feel all the more relaxed for knowing that now. ;-)

  5. Oh I had exactly the same thing. My stock answer was that the majority of children regress a little when a new baby arrives and this can mean lots of accidents. So what is the point of potty training them before the baby comes.

    I would have preferred to just tell people to stick it but this was the more socially acceptable version!

  6. i don't think I'll take the socially acceptable option, I think I'll just say it like it is - butt out! ;-)